28 Weeks Later

Disclaimer: This is my second pregnancy.  With my first pregnancy my daughter was born preterm, breech and via C-section.  Due to my age, my medical history (hello, incompetent cervix!) and my daughter being delivered preterm I am being classified as high-risk.  Things could get a little crazy in here so proceed with caution.

How far along: 28 Weeks

Total weight gain: About 37 pounds!  Too much weight gain so far, but I passed my glucose test so there's that.  

Maternity clothes: Oh yeah.

Stretch marks: Nothing new

Sleep: My allergies are starting to kick in so breathing at night is rough.  

Best moment of this week: Scarlett sitting on me, but then as soon as she got off Vivienne started to go crazy punching, kicking and jabbing!  It was like she was saying, "Hey, big sis, come back here!"

Miss anything: I miss racing.  I can't go for a 2 mile run without desperately needing a bathroom these days so there is no way I could even pull off a 5K.  I've been tempted to sign up for one, but I also worry about complications arising even though I know it is perfectly safe for me to run and exercise while pregnant.  I think mentally I'd rather just stay close to home.  

Movement: Tons!  The other night I woke up to hear being transverse.  She was kicking her legs and arms simultaneously.  I really thought she was trying to bust out.  

Food cravings: Nah.  

Anything making you queasy or sick: Just really strong smells.  

Have you started to show yet: YES!

Gender: Female

Labor signs: No, but I worry about how my cervix is holding up although nothing can be done.  

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: off

Happy or moody most of the time: Happy

Looking forward to: Just checking more things off my to-do list like gathering baby gear and packing our hospital bags.

* Since we did not spill the beans on this pregnancy to our family until I was 14 weeks pregnant, there will be a fair amount of backtracking until I can get caught up.  Hang in there! 

26 Weeks Pregnant

Disclaimer: This is my second pregnancy.  With my first pregnancy my daughter was born preterm, breech and via C-section.  Due to my age, my medical history (hello, incompetent cervix!) and my daughter being delivered preterm I am being classified as high-risk.  Things could get a little crazy in here so proceed with caution.

How far along: 26 weeks

Total weight gain: 34 pounds give or take

Maternity clothes: Oh yeah

Stretch marks: Nothing new

Sleep: Yes, please!  

Best moment of this week: Sleeping for 12 hours on a Friday night!

Miss anything: Downtime.  I've been so busy lately and all I want to do is R-E-L-A-X

Movement: She is a wiggle worm!  I miss having a belly band so I can play music.  Scarlett listened to a lot of Mozart while she was in there.  

Food cravings: Nope.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not really.  Just strong smells offend me.  

Have you started to show yet: I'd like to think I look pregnant now and not just fat.  

Gender: Still a girl as far as we know.  

Labor signs: Nope, but fingers crossed my cervix holds out until she's full-term.  

Belly button in or out: In, but it never popped out with Scarlett.  

Wedding rings on or off: Off for awhile now.  

Happy or moody most of the time: I'd like to think I'm happy.  My family might think otherwise.  

Looking forward to: Getting the glucose test for gestational diabetes over with.

* Since we did not spill the beans on this pregnancy to our family until I was 14 weeks pregnant, there will be a fair amount of backtracking until I can get caught up.  Hang in there! 

"You're a Mean Mommy!"

"You're terrible. You're awful!  You're a mean mommy!  I'm telling Daddy!"

These would be examples of what my 4 year old daughter has said to me lately. The last one elicited a phone call in the middle of the grocery store to my husband, her daddy, so she could tattle on me. She hid under the cart while I dialed because her bluff had been called. This was after I refused to buy her rain boots on a day when  I had treated her to the ballet and lunch. I was being berated by my 4 year old for being "terrible" for not buying her things which she didn't need.

Mommy and Scarlett at the ballet!

To be fair, we are not the kind of parents who buy her things just because she sees them and expresses an interest in something. We buy her what she needs and extravagances are saved for holidays and birthdays.  Even then we don't go all out. We've learned that very few toys make her happy and that she'd rather create or invent games of her own imagination. While a new toy might make her happy in the moment, the newness quickly wears off and just becomes clutter she doesn't want to clean up.

But, now I'm 7 months pregnant with her little sister. She's watched boxes of new baby items arrive at the house and she's helped me pick her out some new clothes. Jealousy is starting to rear it's ugly head and she doesn't understand why she can't get stuff like Vivienne. 

Even while she spews such terrible words at me, I've remained strong. I refuse to buy her what she wants because she has so much already.

Lunch with Mommy after the ballet

On this particular day, I had had enough. I was tired. I work full-time, come home to work more, cook, clean take care of the dog, the cat, the laundry and pack lunches. I could not stand being called "terrible" or "mean" one more time. Normally, I just tell her that her words hurt my feelings​ and I don't like it. But not this time. This time she needed to learn just how hurtful she was being.

So, to the bewilderment  of my family, I cut a heart out of a piece of construction paper and sat my daughter down at eye level and through tears I told her, "This is my heart.  When you said mean things to mommy this is what happens to my heart.". I ripped it in half. "Now it is not the same as it was before. How are you going to fix it?"

By the look on her face she was horrified that she had made me so upset. She quickly went to work taping up the heart and presented it to me.

"When you hurt someone and break their heart, you can never make it whole again.  The heart will never be the same. You can patch it up with words and good deeds, but the damage will always be there. Words can hurt and your words hurt me really bad."

At that she gave me the world's biggest hug and promised to be nice. I have no problem with my daughter expressing her feelings. In fact, I want her to tell me when she is hurt, angry, upset, happy. However, I refuse to let her think she can put down other people because she is going through a lot. There are other ways for her to let her fears and frustration out. Telling someone she loves that they are terrible and mean is not the way to do it.

By the next morning, I had her wrapped in a blanket snuggled in my arms in the rocking chair - her newest request in the last few weeks is to be rocked like a baby.

All is forgiven.

24 Weeks and Things Just Got Real

Disclaimer: This is my second pregnancy.  With my first pregnancy my daughter was born preterm, breech and via C-section.  Due to my age, my medical history (hello, incompetent cervix!) and my daughter being delivered preterm I am being classified as high-risk.  Things could get a little crazy in here so proceed with caution.


How far along: 24 weeks

Total weight gain: 29 pounds.  Over the last month, I just haven't been able to do much.  I move around a lot at work, but once I am home I am usually parked in the sitting position.  I know, I know, not good.  Once I get us into a new normal routine and the weather warms up, I'll be taking out dog, Leia, for lots of walks.  

Maternity clothes: Yes!  And I hate them.  No matter what size I buy my shirts ride up while my pants slide down.  

Stretch marks: Nope.  

Sleep: Not bad.  I usually wake up once during the night.  

Best moment of this week: Scarlett kissing my belly and saying, "I love you Vivienne.  I love you so much!"

Miss anything: Just the usual stuff.  Going for a run regularly and relaxing with a drink with my husband.  

Movement: Boy, is she a wiggle worm!  I just went through a 4 day period where she non-stop flipped, kicked and punched me.  Luckily, she seems to have slowed down now.  

Food cravings: No, although sugar is hard to resist!  

Anything making you queasy or sick: Just nasty smelling things.  

Have you started to show yet: Yes!

Gender: Still a girl!  I had another ultrasound this week and I had the tech checked. She assured me that nothing had "sprouted" yet.  

Labor signs: Here is where things get sticky.  At the start of my pregnancy, my OB laid out a plan to check my cervix at the 20 and 24 week mark.  Why?  Well, I have an incompetent cervix and my daughter was born a month early when my water unexpectedly broke.  She felt this was the best plan of action since I had no other signs that my body would deliver early.  

My 19 week ultrasound showed that I had 4 cm of cervix - "oodles of cervix" my OB said.  Then, my 24 week ultrasound showed that my cervix had thinned to just under 3 cm.  I had "lost" about a centimeter of cervix thickness in 5 weeks.  

At this point, my OB assured me there is nothing to be done.  It is still thankfully closed, but it has thinned.  I'm not in the danger zone yet, which is less than 2.5 CM, but I'm getting close.  Given this information, it is not hard to surmise how it happened that my daughter was born a month early.  If logic dictates, which it rarely does with our pregnant bodies, I'll continue to lose another centimeter a month which leads me to believe that by 36 weeks I'll be having a baby again.  Let's just hope she waits until AFTER Memorial Day so I can help her big sister at her big yearly dance recital.  

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: Off

Happy or moody most of the time: Happy, but getting stressed with everything that needs to be done before this bambino arrives.  

Looking forward to: I can tell you what I am NOT looking forward to:  My blood glucose test at my next appoint at 28 weeks.  Yuck to drinking that stuff.

* Since we did not spill the beans on this pregnancy to our family until I was 14 weeks pregnant, there will be a fair amount of backtracking until I can get caught up.  Hang in there!