"You're a Mean Mommy!"

"You're terrible. You're awful!  You're a mean mommy!  I'm telling Daddy!"

These would be examples of what my 4 year old daughter has said to me lately. The last one elicited a phone call in the middle of the grocery store to my husband, her daddy, so she could tattle on me. She hid under the cart while I dialed because her bluff had been called. This was after I refused to buy her rain boots on a day when  I had treated her to the ballet and lunch. I was being berated by my 4 year old for being "terrible" for not buying her things which she didn't need.

Mommy and Scarlett at the ballet!

To be fair, we are not the kind of parents who buy her things just because she sees them and expresses an interest in something. We buy her what she needs and extravagances are saved for holidays and birthdays.  Even then we don't go all out. We've learned that very few toys make her happy and that she'd rather create or invent games of her own imagination. While a new toy might make her happy in the moment, the newness quickly wears off and just becomes clutter she doesn't want to clean up.

But, now I'm 7 months pregnant with her little sister. She's watched boxes of new baby items arrive at the house and she's helped me pick her out some new clothes. Jealousy is starting to rear it's ugly head and she doesn't understand why she can't get stuff like Vivienne. 

Even while she spews such terrible words at me, I've remained strong. I refuse to buy her what she wants because she has so much already.

Lunch with Mommy after the ballet

On this particular day, I had had enough. I was tired. I work full-time, come home to work more, cook, clean take care of the dog, the cat, the laundry and pack lunches. I could not stand being called "terrible" or "mean" one more time. Normally, I just tell her that her words hurt my feelings​ and I don't like it. But not this time. This time she needed to learn just how hurtful she was being.

So, to the bewilderment  of my family, I cut a heart out of a piece of construction paper and sat my daughter down at eye level and through tears I told her, "This is my heart.  When you said mean things to mommy this is what happens to my heart.". I ripped it in half. "Now it is not the same as it was before. How are you going to fix it?"

By the look on her face she was horrified that she had made me so upset. She quickly went to work taping up the heart and presented it to me.

"When you hurt someone and break their heart, you can never make it whole again.  The heart will never be the same. You can patch it up with words and good deeds, but the damage will always be there. Words can hurt and your words hurt me really bad."

At that she gave me the world's biggest hug and promised to be nice. I have no problem with my daughter expressing her feelings. In fact, I want her to tell me when she is hurt, angry, upset, happy. However, I refuse to let her think she can put down other people because she is going through a lot. There are other ways for her to let her fears and frustration out. Telling someone she loves that they are terrible and mean is not the way to do it.

By the next morning, I had her wrapped in a blanket snuggled in my arms in the rocking chair - her newest request in the last few weeks is to be rocked like a baby.

All is forgiven.

How to Survive a Snow Day with Your Preschooler!

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Snow days!  Everyone loves them, right?

Well, if you have little ones at home and you've been stuck home with them for an extra day or two you might be running out of patience and ideas on what to do with them.

I taught preschool for nearly 20 years so I should have plenty of tricks up my sleeve when it comes to this sort of thing, right?  Yes and no.  Since I work on a pretty tight schedule in my classroom all week, the last thing I want to do on the weekends is be on a tight schedule. even though I have a 4 year old to take care of.

Usually, my daughter does an alright job of entertaining herself and doing more than watching a ton of TV, but when the whining became incessant and there were tears over everything I decided to take action and get her on the dreaded SCHEDULE.

Was she happy?

NO.

But it was time.  Was she better for it?  Oh, yeah.  The proof is in the (low carb) pudding as they say so here's what I did.

Wake - up to 9 AM

This is what we early childhood educators like to call "free time."  During this time, she can eat her breakfast, which she is usually good at helping herself to, and watching TV.  At 9 AM though, all electronics go off.  

9:30-11:00 AM 

Now is the time for some big body play or more formally called Gross/Large Motor Play.  I decided to bundle my daughter up and take her outside in the elements where she went sledding and climbed up snowbanks.  If the weather is too treacherous to get out then turn up the music for some dancing, break out your old copy of Twister (great for learning left from right and colors) or set up some fun indoor games like the ones below.

• 10 Ball Games for Kids
• Activity Cubes for Preshoolers
• Physical Activity Task Cards
• Balloon Tennis
• Line Walking and Other Gross Motor Games

11:30 - 12:30 PM 

Now it's time to clean up after all that fun and eat lunch!  Yay!  I've found that if I don't feed my daughter at specific times when we are home, she will eat all day and mostly snack foods.  She does so much better when we have a specific meal time, plus I feel like she doesn't drink enough during the day.  Instead, she starts chugging before bed and that never ends well.

12:30-1:10

Busy box time!  For 40 minutes I had my daughter sit down with various educational activities of my choosing.  Now, I am not huge on worksheets but with limited supplies at home, I do use them and I do believe they have their place in learning. I used the following books and she did quite well with them.

1:30-2:00

Now is a good time to clean up the mess from the busy box.  We also decided to do an easy cooking project before Scarlett moved on to the next activity.  We kept it really simple and made brownies from a box in our pantry.  She didn't care about the lack of creativity - she just loved being able to wear her apron and help her mama!

2:00-3:00 PM

After we tossed our brownies into the oven, I told Scarlett it was time for her to play by herself in her room.  For children that are having a hard time finding something to do, I recommend setting out a few items for them to choose from such as Legos or puzzles.  Scarlett wanted to do dress-up so she just played with what was out.  This blogger momma was happy to have an hour to herself to, well, blog, and get any other work done such as paying bills.  

3:00-4:00 PM

Since our brownies were ready, we ate them.  This would also be a good time to go out again to play in the snow, maybe take a short walk or play another game from the list above.

4:00 to Dinner Time

Now is a good time for any cleaning that your child needs to do before dinner.  If you have any age appropriate board games that don't require a ton of time, now's the time to take it out.  If your significant other is home, have them read your child a book.  

Whew!  That's it!  You've survived another snow day!  How did it go?  What would you do differently next time?